[ Her brows knitted together and her teeth clamped down on the inside of her lip as she listened. He couldn't remember details; that told her a lot of how horrible it must have been, for his mind to have since blocked him from remembering things entirely.
Shiro had been a fighter in such a setting, an arena. If she thought about it more, she'd think about how he must have had to fight so hard to survive against beings he didn't even know existed when he'd first left Earth, how he must have had to do some awful things to stay in the right.
But all she could think about was how the Shiro she knows was such a kind, gentle person - that didn't dserve any of what had happened to him. Who was still such a kind, gentle person in spite of what happened to him. Her gaze shifted and found Shiro's hand - the one on his prosthetic arm, looked at his fingers and the joints and how all of that was alien. ]
It was. Haggar confirmed she was the reason for it and Sendak commented about it as well. Mostly that it wasn't the latest model. Which considering Lance was able to shoot the "latest model" off Sendak's arm, I don't know how much better it is.
[A weird aside there. It brought him some odd pleasure to know that despite having the better model, the paladins were still able to capture Sendak, though not without some bruises from fighting him]
I don't actually remember how I got it. Something I remembered from Ulaz was saying the Galra took my hand so I think it was something they did specifically.
[All of these were terrible memories, what he did remember. Intermixing them with things that were pleasant, like the memory of Lance shooting off Sendak's arm despite being badly injured made it easier to deal with]
[ Hana hadn't known what to make of Shiro's arm, really, when she first saw it in action when the communal housing building was fire and then again when they were on a mission together. She supposed that back then, she thought it was cool. But to know now that he didn't remember how he got it, that it was something forced on him by his captors...
It wasn't that she thought it was sick, or disgusting. She didn't know him until they both ended up in this reality and to her, that prosthetic arm had always been a part of him. Of her Shiro - the Shiro she knew.
But it did worry her. ]
Does it hurt you? The arm. Does having it hurt you?
[ Without thinking, her fingers reached toward his forearm, almost like she was reaching for his hand— only for a moment, before she realized what she was doing and pulled her hand away. ]
[Shiro couldn't deny that his arm was useful. He had used it plenty of times to protect himself and the other paladins. To take down enemies and help the others. But it always had a darker side to it. A pained side that came from it being his choice.
In the many nights he had been kept awake, he wondered what the circumstances of his hand were. Had they really taken it or had he been injured, lost it, and they had used the opportunity presented to them? Could he, at any point in time, agreed to this? Could he have agreed to be a pawn in their games? This was a question that haunted him.
But it was recently, talking with Keith and with Hana that he was starting to realize that none of that changed who he was.
He looked over as she started to reach for his hand before pulling back]
No... it's okay. It hurt the first time I activated it, but not anymore.
[ Her gaze stayed on their hands, close to each other but not quite touching. And her heart ached for him; she didn't know how he came to have his arm, and it sounded like he didn't know, either, but— it was different from, say, Genji's circumstances. Genji had been on the verge of death - she knew that now more intimately than she ever would otherwise, having experienced the memory of his slaughter at the hands of his brother essentially firsthand - and he had prosthetic limbs and cybernetic implants because they kept him alive. But Shiro... it wasn't that way for Shiro.
That... really hurt, somehow, knowing that. ]
I'm sorry, Shiro. That all of that happened to you.
[ She finally looked up at that moment, her eyes finding his and hers were sincere. ]
But, you know - just because they gave you that arm doesn't mean it's a bad part of you. [ She was trying to draw similarities between Shiro and Genji, now, because she knew what Genji had gone through and she knew that he was at peace with himself now. And she was going to hope that Shiro would be too, in time. ] They gave it to you, but you can make out of it what you want, right? Like when we rescued people from the fire.
[He closed eyes, lowering his head when she spoke. She had pretty much hit the nail on the head. In the back of his mind, even though it was useful, his arm was the worst part of him now. It make him a monster, like the Galra who had done this to him. He had learned that not all Galra were like that. Ulaz and Thace had helped to save them and the Blade of Marmora were trying to free those under Zarkon's thumb, but there were plenty who didn't care who they hurt. The lives they destroyed didn't matter.
He took a breath before speaking again]
I know it's been useful. I've saved people here, the other paladins, with it and I wouldn't have been able to without it. But its hard...
[ She fell silent, then, not really sure what else she could say to help ease his mind. She wished she had Genji's wisdom - what would he say in this situation? Hana closed her eyes, too, listening for the running water in the river and the critters around them, thinking back on what Genji had said to her over the last few months that they'd known each other. Nothing rang as clear as day to her as the day earlier this month, at what Genji said to her after she had seen the circumstances around his untimely 'death.'
When her eyes opened once more, she reached for Shiro's hand again - and this time she wasn't going to shy away. ]
You can't let the worst moment of your life define you.
[He really didn't mean to be so negative and under normal circumstances, he wouldn't be so negative, but repeatedly seeing a terrible moment in his life wasn't helping him feel positive about things.
Then she reached over and took his hand. As her hand wrapped around his, he put his other hand over hers, holding onto it. It felt oddly comforting to have her hand over his.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath]
[ Oh, good, he didn't pull away when she held his hand. And when he put his other hand over hers, she found that it felt... nice. Like she didn't feel so alone, all of a sudden. Even though his eyes closed, she offered a small, sincere smile at him for his words, giving his hand - the one made from Galra tech - a gentle squeeze. ]
Definitely not. It's just one part of you and the other parts? They're pretty amazing, Shiro.
[It was weird. They both had issues back home, painful ones which had prompted them to try and avoid sleeping here. But here they were, out in the forest together near the water, sitting on the back of a robot lion. There was not a sole around for miles, but Shiro felt closer to people than he had for a while. Her words brought a smile to his face]
[ And his smile, in turn, gave her some semblance of relief. She wasn't sure how, but it did. Of course she was relieved that she managed to cheer him up a bit, but... that didn't explain the way her heart fluttered at that moment.
Ah, it's probably just her being tired. ]
Of course. That's what friends are for, right? Moral support and stuff like that.
Yeah, moral support. I've definitely needed some of that recently.
[Yes, he'd heard it from Keith, but he always heard it from Keith. It didn't make it any less real, but it was nice to hear it from someone else as well]
[ Even as tired as she was, Hana couldn't help but giggle at the compliment. It's one she'd received from countless many people before - though usually in the form of a comment on a photo or a message typed into the chat during a stream - but it felt much nicer coming from Shiro. She defaulted to a very D.Va response: ]
Oh, I know.
[ With her free hand, she ran her fingers through her hair and and flipped it, although the gesture was a little restricted with the hood of her jacket still up. She gave him another smile after that. ]
You know... I should thank you for messaging me to come out today. I haven't really left the apartment in a couple of days. It's nice to get some fresh air.
[ She trailed off into silence too, looking back out to the water again.
When he spoke next, she looked surprised at his suggestion. Somehow, she'd thought that they were maybe going to just sit here and talk a bit more, maybe even part ways and go home soon, but -
[At the confirmation that she wanted go for a magic carpet ride ride on the lion, Shiro’s smile brightened a little bit more]
Alright. Let’s go.
[He shifted around so he was sitting on Black facing forward, waiting for her to turn and hold onto him. Black was definitely waking up now, tail flipping back and forth in anticipation]
[ She followed his lead and shifted, too, bringing her leg around to the other side of Black and scooting a bit closer. ]
One sec.
[ Before grabbing a hold of Shiro, she turned at the waist a little and pressed a button on a bracelet on her wrist to put her mech into standby mode. It whirred and beeped and the hatch at the back of it closed before its lights went dead. After that, she wrapped her arms around Shiro's waist and held onto him that way - more of a hug than the last time he'd taken her for a ride on the Black Lion. ]
[Shiro waited patiently until she had turned round to face forward on the lion. He couldn't really help the faint smile as she wrapped her arms around him]
Great. Alright, Black. Let's go.
[The lion shifted around so he could get a running start then took to the air. This time it was definitely a longer flight as Black followed the length of the river. The wind rush passed them even though Black wasn't going that fast]
[ Her arms tightened around him as Black sprinted - being on a giant robotic lion when it did that was something she might not ever really get accustomed to, she thinks - and then they tightened even more as they ascended. Once the Lion began to cruise, though, she relaxed a bit. The hood on her head was inevitably pulled back by the wind, but she didn't mind - the feeling of it in her hair was especially refreshing and exhilarating after spending so much of the last few days cooped up.
Looking down, she saw the way that Black left a trail along the water's surface, parting it in sprays in its wake and then she looked up at the sky. This place was a lot like Earth in some ways but in many, like now - it was completely sublime and beautiful in such an otherworldly way that Hana would've never even dreamed of being able to see. She was practically breathless. ]
It's... really beautiful. This place can be so beautiful, don't you think?
[Yeah, even Shiro probably wasn't going to get used to that. The lions moved the way an animal would, jostling and all. Black seemed to prefer a running start when carrying someone so it was not the easiest start, Shiro having to grip onto the lion with his metal hand. Luckily for him - and anyone else riding with him - Black's wings helped for another point to grab onto if needed.
The ride smoothed out once they were airborne and Black found a cruising altitude. Granted he wasn't too far above the water so there was a fine mist in the air as he cruised along the river. Most of it was behind them so really no chance of getting wet.
The sun was starting to set now, not only slowly painting the sky with reds and oranges, but also changing the light reflecting through the water spraying up from the river.
He smiled, glancing back at Hana and noticing that her hood had blown back. Looked better that way. At least he didn't have to watch where he was going the whole time because Black wouldn't purposely run into something hopefully]
Yeah. It's really amazing. This needs to be done more often.
[ The sun was setting and, in the distance, the Capital World loomed over, and that in itself was quite a sight; it reminded Hana of all the pictures of Earth taken from the Horizon Lunar Colony back home. She always wondered what it would be like to be on the moon looking back at Earth, what she would see, but she supposed it would have been somewhat similar to the sight she'd see now.
Shiro's smile was met with one of her own and she found herself staring at him a bit in spite of the incredible scenery around them. She was glad that they came out tonight. Just this simple of an act was already lifting their spirits, wasn't it? She moved her head, resting it against Shiro's back and she nodded. ]
Mmm. We should do this more often.
I could never see anything like this at home, you know. Not with the war...
[Shiro had seen a lot of things being in space and being with Voltron that the sight of the Capital World overhead might have been jaded somewhat, but it was still impressive. Even so it was still impressive and when someone else got excited about space, it was hard for him to not be as well.
Yes, definitely glad Black wasn't going to crash into anything because until she leaned forward to rest her head against his back]
Yeah, we should do this more often.
[He gave a faint sad smile when she spoke what he had seen of her memories]
Yeah, that must have been rough. Being drafted to fight against monsters like that.
[ Hana closed her eyes momentarily in spite of the incredible view around them; she focused on the feeling of the wind in her hair and trying to let the things she'd been bottling up fly away just like she and Shiro were. It— was hard. Part of her didn't want to let go. A large part of her. ]
I was happy that they chose me. I was at the top of my game around that time but... I was also finishing school and trying to figure out where to go for university and stuff like that too, you know?
[ Normal stuff. ]
I could tell my dad was disappointed even when he was being supportive. I think he had other things in mind for what I'd be devoting my life to. But I told him, "Dad, if they need me, how can I say no?"
[ Not that she had much of a choice, the choice to even say no. But it helped Hana deal with the fact that she didn't have much control over her own life, to think of it as her rising up to the occasion instead of being forced into it. ]
[Shiro definitely feels that her statement is a bit of double-talk, trying to convince herself that this was what she wanted. Shiro had entered the Galaxy Garrison voluntarily and the cadets all applied to attend without coercion except from maybe their families, but he was aware not every military or military-resembling entity operated on freedom of choice]
Yeah... that is too bad. But I guess this is not all that bad either.
[He glanced back over his shoulder at her]
You get to hang out with friends. You could go to school again if you wanted to.
[ She could feel the shift in his body when he glanced back, so her eyes fluttered open and she moved her head just enough to be able to look up and meet his gaze. There was something like confusion in her eyes, conflict, like she just didn't know what to think. If she should realize that it really wasn't all that bad - or if she should feel helpless to the fact that she was here, not at home.
But... Shiro wasn't wrong...
She'd made so many friends here. Hell, even Genji - and he came from the same world as she did! In spite of that, Hana still doubted she would have ever even met him if no for this place... And she could go back to school.
And she could kick Shiro's butt at videogames.
She couldn't help the small smile on her face when he said that, along with the quiet little chuckle she gave before she looked away, back to the view below them. ]
You're right, I do get to do all that here. Especially since you just love getting your butt kicked at games, huh?
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Shiro had been a fighter in such a setting, an arena. If she thought about it more, she'd think about how he must have had to fight so hard to survive against beings he didn't even know existed when he'd first left Earth, how he must have had to do some awful things to stay in the right.
But all she could think about was how the Shiro she knows was such a kind, gentle person - that didn't dserve any of what had happened to him. Who was still such a kind, gentle person in spite of what happened to him. Her gaze shifted and found Shiro's hand - the one on his prosthetic arm, looked at his fingers and the joints and how all of that was alien. ]
Was your arm... one of their experiments on you?
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[A weird aside there. It brought him some odd pleasure to know that despite having the better model, the paladins were still able to capture Sendak, though not without some bruises from fighting him]
I don't actually remember how I got it. Something I remembered from Ulaz was saying the Galra took my hand so I think it was something they did specifically.
[All of these were terrible memories, what he did remember. Intermixing them with things that were pleasant, like the memory of Lance shooting off Sendak's arm despite being badly injured made it easier to deal with]
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It wasn't that she thought it was sick, or disgusting. She didn't know him until they both ended up in this reality and to her, that prosthetic arm had always been a part of him. Of her Shiro - the Shiro she knew.
But it did worry her. ]
Does it hurt you? The arm. Does having it hurt you?
[ Without thinking, her fingers reached toward his forearm, almost like she was reaching for his hand— only for a moment, before she realized what she was doing and pulled her hand away. ]
Ah, sorry.
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In the many nights he had been kept awake, he wondered what the circumstances of his hand were. Had they really taken it or had he been injured, lost it, and they had used the opportunity presented to them? Could he, at any point in time, agreed to this? Could he have agreed to be a pawn in their games? This was a question that haunted him.
But it was recently, talking with Keith and with Hana that he was starting to realize that none of that changed who he was.
He looked over as she started to reach for his hand before pulling back]
No... it's okay. It hurt the first time I activated it, but not anymore.
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That... really hurt, somehow, knowing that. ]
I'm sorry, Shiro. That all of that happened to you.
[ She finally looked up at that moment, her eyes finding his and hers were sincere. ]
But, you know - just because they gave you that arm doesn't mean it's a bad part of you. [ She was trying to draw similarities between Shiro and Genji, now, because she knew what Genji had gone through and she knew that he was at peace with himself now. And she was going to hope that Shiro would be too, in time. ] They gave it to you, but you can make out of it what you want, right? Like when we rescued people from the fire.
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He took a breath before speaking again]
I know it's been useful. I've saved people here, the other paladins, with it and I wouldn't have been able to without it. But its hard...
[To think of it as positive]
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When her eyes opened once more, she reached for Shiro's hand again - and this time she wasn't going to shy away. ]
You can't let the worst moment of your life define you.
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Then she reached over and took his hand. As her hand wrapped around his, he put his other hand over hers, holding onto it. It felt oddly comforting to have her hand over his.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath]
I know. I can't let it be the only part of me.
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Definitely not. It's just one part of you and the other parts? They're pretty amazing, Shiro.
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Thanks. It's nice to hear that.
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Ah, it's probably just her being tired. ]
Of course. That's what friends are for, right? Moral support and stuff like that.
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[Yes, he'd heard it from Keith, but he always heard it from Keith. It didn't make it any less real, but it was nice to hear it from someone else as well]
You're pretty amazing as well.
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Oh, I know.
[ With her free hand, she ran her fingers through her hair and and flipped it, although the gesture was a little restricted with the hood of her jacket still up. She gave him another smile after that. ]
You know... I should thank you for messaging me to come out today. I haven't really left the apartment in a couple of days. It's nice to get some fresh air.
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It's no problem. I was kind of doing the same thing. I'm sure Keith's glad to see me out of the house.
[He turned and looked out towards the water for a moment, putting his free hand on Black for a moment. He then turned back to her]
Would you want to go for a ride? Just a short one. So we can spend a bit more time out of the house.
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When he spoke next, she looked surprised at his suggestion. Somehow, she'd thought that they were maybe going to just sit here and talk a bit more, maybe even part ways and go home soon, but -
a joy ride sounded perfect.
She smiled and nodded. ]
That sounds awesome. Let's do it.
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magic carpet rideride on the lion, Shiro’s smile brightened a little bit more]Alright. Let’s go.
[He shifted around so he was sitting on Black facing forward, waiting for her to turn and hold onto him. Black was definitely waking up now, tail flipping back and forth in anticipation]
Ready?
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One sec.
[ Before grabbing a hold of Shiro, she turned at the waist a little and pressed a button on a bracelet on her wrist to put her mech into standby mode. It whirred and beeped and the hatch at the back of it closed before its lights went dead. After that, she wrapped her arms around Shiro's waist and held onto him that way - more of a hug than the last time he'd taken her for a ride on the Black Lion. ]
Okay, I'm ready!
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Great. Alright, Black. Let's go.
[The lion shifted around so he could get a running start then took to the air. This time it was definitely a longer flight as Black followed the length of the river. The wind rush passed them even though Black wasn't going that fast]
It's nice from here.
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Looking down, she saw the way that Black left a trail along the water's surface, parting it in sprays in its wake and then she looked up at the sky. This place was a lot like Earth in some ways but in many, like now - it was completely sublime and beautiful in such an otherworldly way that Hana would've never even dreamed of being able to see. She was practically breathless. ]
It's... really beautiful. This place can be so beautiful, don't you think?
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The ride smoothed out once they were airborne and Black found a cruising altitude. Granted he wasn't too far above the water so there was a fine mist in the air as he cruised along the river. Most of it was behind them so really no chance of getting wet.
The sun was starting to set now, not only slowly painting the sky with reds and oranges, but also changing the light reflecting through the water spraying up from the river.
He smiled, glancing back at Hana and noticing that her hood had blown back. Looked better that way. At least he didn't have to watch where he was going the whole time because Black wouldn't purposely run into something
hopefully]Yeah. It's really amazing. This needs to be done more often.
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Shiro's smile was met with one of her own and she found herself staring at him a bit in spite of the incredible scenery around them. She was glad that they came out tonight. Just this simple of an act was already lifting their spirits, wasn't it? She moved her head, resting it against Shiro's back and she nodded. ]
Mmm. We should do this more often.
I could never see anything like this at home, you know. Not with the war...
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Yes, definitely glad Black wasn't going to crash into anything because until she leaned forward to rest her head against his back]
Yeah, we should do this more often.
[He gave a faint sad smile when she spoke what he had seen of her memories]
Yeah, that must have been rough. Being drafted to fight against monsters like that.
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I was happy that they chose me. I was at the top of my game around that time but... I was also finishing school and trying to figure out where to go for university and stuff like that too, you know?
[ Normal stuff. ]
I could tell my dad was disappointed even when he was being supportive. I think he had other things in mind for what I'd be devoting my life to. But I told him, "Dad, if they need me, how can I say no?"
[ Not that she had much of a choice, the choice to even say no. But it helped Hana deal with the fact that she didn't have much control over her own life, to think of it as her rising up to the occasion instead of being forced into it. ]
It's too bad, now I'm here.
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Yeah... that is too bad. But I guess this is not all that bad either.
[He glanced back over his shoulder at her]
You get to hang out with friends. You could go to school again if you wanted to.
[A pause]
You can kick my butt at video games.
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But... Shiro wasn't wrong...
She'd made so many friends here. Hell, even Genji - and he came from the same world as she did! In spite of that, Hana still doubted she would have ever even met him if no for this place... And she could go back to school.
And she could kick Shiro's butt at videogames.
She couldn't help the small smile on her face when he said that, along with the quiet little chuckle she gave before she looked away, back to the view below them. ]
You're right, I do get to do all that here. Especially since you just love getting your butt kicked at games, huh?
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