bunnyhopped | (riverview) inbox/open post

[ The past month has been very trying for Peter. First the amnesia thing, where the pollen or whatever rewound the clock on him and turned him into an absolute asshole. Then the frankly confusing thing with Gamora tucking herself into his bed the other night – which was less awkward and more awesome, honestly. Add to that the aftermath of the mess from back home still roiling in the background, and you have Peter Quill on the verge of tearing his hair out.

(But he won't. He has excellent hair.)

It also means he's desperate enough to seek out advice. And considering his options are limited, Peter just spins his mental roulette and goes for whoever he thinks of first.

Guess who wins? ]

Hey. Hana. [ as nonchalantly as he can manage, which is pretty nonchalant. ] You're a girl, right?

[ It cannot be stressed enough just how little thought he put into this. ]

[ Hana is #1, and wins all the time thank you very much for acknowledging this, Peter.

The last month, though, has been a bit trying for Hana too, albeit for different reasons. There was getting her mech, which was trying and more awesome, honestly, but with it came finding out that Reaper was around and just walking around like he wasn't a wanted terrorist back home, and then there was the fire, those couple of night where people kept ending up in her bed, and now moving to a new place with Genji...

Hana isn't quite on the verge of tearing her hair out, at least. Not that she would. She has amazing hair.

She is surprised, though, when she sees a call coming in from none other than @star.lord. She can only think of one reason why he would call her and it would be to finally admit defeat and confide his dating problems in her. Except that his opening completely throws her and although it goes unseen, she makes A Face so much that it's practically audible in her response. ]

Uh. Yeah. Honestly, I wouldn't be as amazing as I am if I was a guy. But yeah.

[ He makes a thoughtful sound. ]

You'd still be alright. I guess. If you were a guy.

[ what a glowing commendation. ]

But, right. Okay. So. [ A pause, as he considers how best to put this. ]

So. I have this friend.

[ very. little. thought. ]

They came to me for, uh. Advice. And I already told them my piece, but I wouldn't mind a second opinion.

[ As soon as he mentions "a friend," she rolls her eyes so hard they almost pop out of her eye sockets. Because no one who ever asks for advice on behalf of a friend is ever actually asking on behalf of a friend.

But she'll humor him, because she's so super nice even though he said she'd still be alright if she were a guy when, in fact, she wouldn't be, because guys – especially in her industry – are pretty much the worst. She tries not to sound too unconvinced when she says, ]

Alright. What do you need my expert opinion on for your friend who totally isn't just you trying to be subtle?

[ Tries. ]

[ He opens his mouth to respond, but then his nose wrinkles in distaste. ]

What? No. I am totally asking for a friend, here, okay? Whose name will go unmentioned because I'm a stand-up guy who protects the identities of the innocent.

[ There's a little bit of a muffled noise that comes through; it's actually just Hana shifting to hold her phone between her cheek and her shoulder so she can go back to painting her nails. Hey, at least she's not putting him on speaker phone. ]

Okay, so a secret friend who totally isn't just you. What's up?

[ Insistently, ] It's not me.

[ convincing absolutely no one.

Peter, meanwhile, is sprawled out on the couch in the living space to his and Gamora's shared apartment, watching the door. He's pretty sure Gamora's on another long shift tonight, so there's little chance of her catching him in the middle of soliciting a goddamn child for romance advice.

(Sorry, Hana.) ]

So. This guy – who, again, is still not me – kind of has this thing. For a girl. Who, once again, will go unnamed.

They, uh. Well, I'm pretty sure she digs him, too? But they haven't actually, like, done anything or really even said anything. The two of them kind of keep dancing around it, you know? Like, it's there, but it's not there, and they talk around it without actually talking about it.

[ A pause. ]

Following me so far?

[ oh my god he is seriously still pretending he's not talking about himself. ]

Yeah, I'm following. Why haven't you guys talked about it? Too scared to?

[ A few shades higher than normal, ] Still not me.

[ apparently he still feels this is a convincing enough ruse to keep it up. ]

And it's just like— there's never been a good time.

Like— they got close, I think. From the way he says it. [ Yep, stick with the lie, Star-Lord. Commit. ] But, uh. You remember that shit with the stupid flowers? The ones that made folks forget stuff?

It, uh. Got to him, I guess. Made him turn into a raging asshole, and he said some— pretty shitty things.

Edited (did i edit just to switch icons? the answer is yes.) 2017-09-06 07:15 (UTC)

Yeah, I remember.

[ She wasn't personally affected herself, thank god, but she'd heard that other people were.

And also, still not Star-Lord, but still totally Star-Lord. So: ]

Well, did you apologize to her? I guess it wasn't technically your fault but you should probably still say it. Apologize and then cuddle.

[ this is the Expert Opinion of Hana Song ]

[ There's a lengthy pause on Peter's end, as he scowls up at the ceiling.

But eventually he heaves out a sigh, rubbing at his eyes. ]

She's not the talking type. [ Apparently Peter's giving up on being so insistent about the lie. ] And she's especially not the cuddling type.

[ not... really, anyway. At least, not in the way Peter would categorize as cuddling. Sitting hip to hip on the couch as they eat dinner and stealing bites from each other's plates probably doesn't count, right? ]

The last time the topic got brought up, it turned into a gigantic argument. [ A pause, and he adds with a bit of forced levity, ] And by gigantic, I'm talking planet-destroying gigantic.

[ She's just kinda nodding along until— ]

Huh? Are you being serious?

Not really.

[ ... Well. Sort of. But he doesn't want to get into that. ]

Point is, there hasn't been a very solid track record as far as talking goes.

But isn't communication, like, one of the most important parts of a relationship or whatever?

[ or whatever ]

How are you guys gonna make it work if you can't even talk?

See? [ And a touch of frustration bleeds into his voice. ]

This is exactly why I need a second opinion.

Well if she doesn't want to talk, maybe she's not that into you.

[ SHE'S HELPING ]

[ ouch. ]

... It's more complicated than that.

[ ... maybe. He takes a second to really think about it. Then, ]

I think.

[ well this is something new to consider. ]

I guess.

[ You can practically hear the shrugging in her voice. ]

I mean, how else can you really make things clear, though? A letter? Or a song?

[ Alas, Say Anything came out after 1988, otherwise Peter would make a joke about holding a boombox over his head.

As it stands, with a dose of sarcasm, ]

I was thinking a note, yeah. "Do you like me, check yes or no."

[ Another sigh, as he scrubs at his face. ]

It's more like. She's not the talking type. I'm the talking type.

[ And there it is – Peter's finally given up the stupid "asking for a friend" act. ]

She's more the "actions speak louder than words, and I'll stab anything that gets in my way" type.

[ she wasn't even aware he was still putting that act on, honestly ]

Oh!

Then why don't you just have sex with her.

Because I don't like the idea of having my insides as outsides.

I tried to kiss her once. She pulled a knife on me.

... You know it's really beginning to sound a lot like she's just not that into you.

[ He pinches the bridge of his nose. ]

Yeah. You know what? This was a bad idea.

I'm just gonna go.

[ She makes a face because honestly what is she supposed to do with that information!? Talking doesn't work, showing affection gets him killed ? ? ? ? ????

??? ? ?

Still, though, she can't lose. ]

Wait—

[ she sighs, aggravated. ] Listen. I don't know what's up with you guys that nothing that makes sense works, but maybe you just need to be like. Real. Sincere? None of that "hey, so, I'm asking for a friend but he's wondering how you feel about me" bullshit. Just be honest and tell her you're sorry that you were a jerk to her, and tell her how much she means to you or whatever. I don't get why people always make things so complicated by dancing around everything.

[ He was in the middle of hanging up, but he pauses when he hears her voice. The words sink in after a few seconds, and when he speaks again, it's less frustrated and more just— dull. ]

It's complicated because, like. The whole— friendship-ruining thing. Back home, we're kind of on a team, and the team is barely holding together a lot of the time as it is. Like, it's the sort of operation held together by shoestring and prayers, you know?

And then we add, like, "Hey, I kinda like you. But not, like, normal like you, but like-you like you." And then it doesn't work out, and boom – an entire system gets blown up when things go atomic. Everyone takes sides, and the band breaks up, and everyone moves on to some shitty solo careers, and it's never as good as when the band was together, but all the bad blood means there's no chance of a reunion, and—

[ he's rambling. someone will need to stop him. ]

(riverview) inbox/open post

voice; @star.lord

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